TeaTimeSunday : SONNETS
Buffy the Vampire Slayer is a stupid title...
unless you're a poop-head modernist,
in which case it's really cool an' all

rhetorical verse in Shakespearean sonnet form
(a 7-sonnet sequence)



{TTS/072102_01.01} THE "COOLEST" IRONY one can achieve

{TTS/072102_01.02} is to convince an audience to think

{TTS/072102_01.03} it's hip... and so insightful... To believe

{TTS/072102_01.04} it's smarter than the av'rage... While the kink ...

{TTS/072102_01.05} ... of truth is that they're trapped within your web

{TTS/072102_01.06} of cleverly arranged clichès disguised

{TTS/072102_01.07} as something worth more than their own life's ebb

{TTS/072102_01.08} as their attention leaps to each reprised ...

{TTS/072102_01.09} ... performance, VHS, or DVD.

{TTS/072102_01.10} Enthralled by just a hint of "something more"

{TTS/072102_01.11} than all the standard stuff on our TV.

{TTS/072102_01.12} A mix of playfulness and made-up lore ...

{TTS/072102_01.13} ... elaborated over years until

{TTS/072102_01.14} the sheep who watch it cannot get their fill.


{TTS/072102_02.01} YES, IT'S QUITE CRUEL to label Buffy so.

{TTS/072102_02.02} Imprisoner of minds... Enslaving text --

{TTS/072102_02.03} pretending it's postmodern. "Ho Ho Ho."

{TTS/072102_02.04} A spider-Santa Claus... Its gifts are hexed ...

{TTS/072102_02.05} ... to mesmerize by modernistic codes

{TTS/072102_02.06} those programmed by society to yield

{TTS/072102_02.07} to patterns etched before -- to paths and roads

{TTS/072102_02.08} well-traveled. Hooked by lures ... these fish are reeled.

{TTS/072102_02.09} OLD LURES LIKE characters we come to know.

{TTS/072102_02.10} Which seems not only normal ... but THE RULE.

{TTS/072102_02.11} How else could you determine friend or foe?

{TTS/072102_02.12} What kind of lunatic... What sodding fool ...

{TTS/072102_02.13} ... would QUESTION that a TV show have stars?

{TTS/072102_02.14} That's like a superhighway with no cars.


{TTS/072102_03.01} BUT HUMOR ME ... IMAGINE Buffy dies

{TTS/072102_03.02} just as THE FIRST show of the series ends.

{TTS/072102_03.03} Her sacred role passed on... She does not rise...

{TTS/072102_03.04} And rise. And rise .... A DIFF'RENT GIRL defends ...

{TTS/072102_03.05} ... the world each week... from some new spot on earth.

{TTS/072102_03.06} (Not stupid Sunnydale ... which made no sense.)

{TTS/072102_03.07} New contexts and new characters give birth

{TTS/072102_03.08} to more imagination with no fence ...

{TTS/072102_03.09} ... to trap sheep-minded herds of TV geeks

{TTS/072102_03.10} who seek the soothing comfort of THE SAME.

{TTS/072102_03.11} Same faces... and same hist'ry ... as the weeks

{TTS/072102_03.12} accumulate a story that's quite lame ...

{TTS/072102_03.13} ... to anyone NOT VESTED in the plan

{TTS/072102_03.14} that's just the playful scheme of just one man.


{TTS/072102_04.01} A MAN NAMED JOSS ... who made a sane MISTAKE

{TTS/072102_04.02} by anchoring the concept to one girl.

{TTS/072102_04.03} He could not cut the oh-so-clever cake

{TTS/072102_04.04} of "Buffy" from the quite more perfect pearl ...

{TTS/072102_04.05} ... of young girl slayer who is doomed to die.

{TTS/072102_04.06} Acceptance or definance of that prize.

{TTS/072102_04.07} Not frozen in one face -- each pout and sigh

{TTS/072102_04.08} in endless repetition memorize.

{TTS/072102_04.09} Well, who would watch a show like that? you say.

{TTS/072102_04.10} We want some stars to get to know as friends

{TTS/072102_04.11} If you want mindless sheep, that is the way

{TTS/072102_04.12} to program them to drain their lives -- to spend ...

{TTS/072102_04.13} ... their precious moments bleating Buffy's name.

{TTS/072102_04.14} Without a "Buffy" ... it's a pomo game.


{TTS/072102_05.01} WHO KNOWS, perhaps sometimes the slayer's male...

{TTS/072102_05.02} ... and black, or brown, or yellow -- NOT JUST WHITE.

{TTS/072102_05.03} And sometimes they are gay ... or wear a veil.

{TTS/072102_05.04} A dark spot on the earth would bring their light.

{TTS/072102_05.05} If Britney Spears showed up... what's wrong with that? [ewg]

{TTS/072102_05.06} She'd slay and die and Bob Dole's dog would bark.

{TTS/072102_05.07} Next week a Chinese drag queen. Maybe fat.

{TTS/072102_05.08} Hey, sumo-size that slayer... Have a lark.

{TTS/072102_05.09} It would take diff'rent writing to sustain

{TTS/072102_05.10} the FLOW of SLAYERHOOD in this new form.

{TTS/072102_05.11} And no, this is no joke. I'm not insane.

{TTS/072102_05.12} Then what the hell is this? IT'S NOT THE NORM.

{TTS/072102_05.13} It's NOT another hour drama done

{TTS/072102_05.14} the same old way. The same old game re-run.


{TTS/072102_06.01} The Buffy-herd is happy with their cud

{TTS/072102_06.02} to chew another year or maybe two.

{TTS/072102_06.03} The tone of this sure sounds like slinging mud,

{TTS/072102_06.04} but I say "there stand cows," when I hear "moo."

{TTS/072102_06.05} And I've surveyed the fields of Buffy-dom.

{TTS/072102_06.06} So, sadly, I report the cow-like praise

{TTS/072102_06.07} Joss Whedon's Buffy yields. I won't be mum.

{TTS/072102_06.08} I'll have to hit the ball from where it lays.

{TTS/072102_06.09} Like "Star Wars" and "Star Trek," Joss raises sheep.

{TTS/072102_06.10} It's not Joss Whedon's fault. He writes quite well.

{TTS/072102_06.11} But read the Buffy board, and you will weep.

{TTS/072102_06.12} Joss knows his online space has gone to hell.

{TTS/072102_06.13} It does not cross his mind, though, why that is.

{TTS/072102_06.14} A standard product of the TV biz.


{TTS/072102_07.01} THE NETWORKS want their eyeballs none too smart,

{TTS/072102_07.02} or they might not tune in to watch the ads.

{TTS/072102_07.03} Since flatulence is now comedic art,

{TTS/072102_07.04} and "genius programming" is tracking fads ...

{TTS/072102_07.05} ... you really don't want something that takes brains

{TTS/072102_07.06} in gear to ponder as you sit and watch.

{TTS/072102_07.07} You want an audience that wants refrains

{TTS/072102_07.08} to songs well-sung before... Not risk the botch ...

{TTS/072102_07.09} ... that's always risked when NEW things are EXPLORED.

{TTS/072102_07.10} "Good Lord, new faces ev'ry week!" they'd scream

{TTS/072102_07.11} in horror -- names that cannot be Q-scored.

{TTS/072102_07.12} The nightmare of all suits... An artist's dream.

{TTS/072102_07.13} UNDOABLE of course by TV RULES...

{TTS/072102_07.14} UNTIL the game's REWIRED by "pomo fools."[smile]

{ # # # forensicpoetry a/k/a BOKE

Copyright © 2002 Jim BOKE Tomlin artistofideas